I could not do without Thee

"I could not do without Thee,
Oh Savior of the lost.
Whose precious blood redeemed me,
At such tremendous cost.
Thy righteousness, thy pardon,
Thy precious blood must be
My only hope and comfort,
My glory, and my plea.

I could not do without Thee,
I cannot stand alone.
I have no strength or goodness,
No wisdom of my own.
But Thou, beloved Savior,
Art all in all to me.
And weakness will be power,
If leaning hard on Thee.

I could not do without Thee,
Oh Jesus, Savior Dear.
E'en when my eyes are holden,
I know that Thou art near.
How dreary and how lonely
This changeful life would be,
Without the sweet communion,
The secret rest with Thee.

I could not do without Thee,
For years are fleeting fast.
And soon in solemn loneness,
The river must be passed.
But Thou wilt never leave me,
And though the waves roll high,
I know Thou wilt be near me,
And whisper 'It is I.'"

-I Could Not Do Without Thee, Soundforth Singers and Orchestra



Well, it has been quite a while since I have been on here.  This semester is proving to be a hard one.  We know all too well how busyness, and emotional, spiritual and physical unrest make life a burden.  What is meant to be a life of joy in Christ can easily turn into a life of blundering mishaps and struggles. 

All too often, I find myself distracted by things of the world.  What will I do when May rolls around?  Where will I be in a year? 

I get so concerned with my own well being that I lose sight of the beauty of Christ's care for me. 

Really, I have nothing to worry about.  God has provided and blessed my family above and beyond all that we can ask or think, so should not I be comforted by this? 

Should not I find rest in His arms?

 

Sometimes I wonder why evil takes such an interest in such a measly life as mine.  Why are temptations so frequent and hard to overcome? 

The answer? 

We could be such threats to evil if we are living godly lives.  We have so much potential in Christ.  Should not we strive to achieve that potential? 

On earth we work so hard to please and impress our authorities--our parents, bosses, church leaders.

These people did not die for us. 

These people did not create us.

How can I live my life crippled by a desire to please people?  How can I dismiss the unbelievable fact that Christ, the son of God, came to die in my stead? 

It was for me He died. 

How can I not live to please Him above all else?

Weakness.

The same weakness that caused David to stumble.  The same sinful flesh that haunted Paul early in his life.

 Oh, for the strength to overcome this weakness.  Oh, for the strength to combat the darkness of my flesh and this world.

I could not do without Him.  Without Him my weakness would rule my life.  His strength is my shield, my fortress.

"I could not do without Thee,
I cannot stand alone.
I have no strength or goodness,
No wisdom of my own.
But Thou, beloved Savior,
Art all in all to me.
And weakness will be power,
If leaning hard on Thee."

willingly breaking His heart

Another day that just begs for lyrics from songs.

Ever feel like you just don't have the strength to do what is right?

As many obstacles and temptations are placed before you, you fail to pass them.  Or you barely scrape by them only because of God's grace and mercy.


Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in,
Onto the crashing waves.
To step out of my comfort zone,
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is.
And He's holding out his hand.
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me,
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed.
The waves they keep on telling me,
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
'You'll never win.'

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant,
With just a Sling and a stone.
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors,
Shaking in their armor,
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand.

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me,
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed.
The giant keeps on telling me,
Time and time again 'Boy, you'll never win!'
'You'll never win.'

But the voice of Truth tells me a different story.
And the voice of Truth says 'Do not be afraid!'
And the voice of Truth says 'This is for My glory.'
Out of all the voices calling out to me,
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth

--Voice of Truth, by Casting Crowns

How is it, that despite my horrible flaws and failures, that God still loves me? 

Even more, how is it that I knowingly...WILLINGLY break my Savior's heart?  Even those temptations that I see coming in the distance, I tell myself that I should not fall, but inside I know that I will.  Willingly.

Why is that? 

Why am I so entirely weak?

 

I used to think I was so strong.  When I was younger I was invincible.  The things of the world and the things of God were not so black and white to me.  Everything was grey, and I didn't care what I said or did. 

As I have grown and now understand consequences, God's mercy and grace, my sin, and life, it shocks me how weak I am.

Who am I, that despite all of these flaws, God still holds me in His arms and calls me His?


Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart?

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love,
And watch me rise again?
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me?

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.
And You've told me who I am,
I am Yours, I am Yours.

Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours.

--Who Am I, by Casting Crowns

God never moves without purpose or plan

God never moves without purpose or plan
When trying his servant and molding a man.
Give thanks to the Lord though your testing seems long
In darkness He giveth a song.

O rejoice in the Lord,
He makes no mistake.
He knoweth the end of each path that I take.
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

I could not see through the shadows ahead,
So I looked at the cross of my Savior instead.
I bowed to the will of the Master that day,
Then peace came and tears fled away.

Now I can see testing comes from above,
God strengthens His children and purges in love.
My Father knows best and I trust in His care,
Through purging more fruit I will bear.

O rejoice in the Lord,
He makes no mistake.
He knoweth the end of each path that I take.
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

--O Rejoice in the Lord


A beautiful song that we sang in church today. 

I think I will just post some things that spoke to my heart this week. 

 

Following is another song that fits perfectly with my life, and my family's lives.

Still my soul, be still,

And do not fear though winds of change may rage tomorrow.

God is at your side; no longer dread the fires of unexpected sorrow.

God, You are my God,

And I will trust in You and not be shaken.

Lord of peace, renew a steadfast spirit within me to rest in You alone.

Still my soul, be still,

Do not be moved by lesser lights and fleeting shadow.

Hold on to His ways, with shield of faith against temptation's flaming arrows.

God, You are my God,

And I will trust in You and not be shaken.

Lord of peace, renew a steadfast spirit within me to rest in You alone.

Still my soul, be still,

Do not forsake the truth you learned in the beginning.

Wait upon the Lord, and hope will rise as stars appear when day is dimming.

God, You are my God,

And I will trust in You and not be shaken.

Lord of peace, renew a steadfast spirit within me to rest in You alone.
 

-Still My Soul, Be Still

 

 

Despite hard circumstances where we feel as if there is no guidance, we can be reassured that God is with us.  He is on our side.  We can rejoice in our circumstances because through purging we bear more fruit for Him.

 

God guides the eagle through the pathless air.

 

If He guides the eagle, how much more will He direct our paths?

 

 

Even in storms God is by my side.

 

Mark 4:39-40-And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still.  And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?

 

Psalm 91:1-7-He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.

He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night: nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

a wall on our journey

Well, due to the heavy snow that we've had here in the Northeast, I decided to forgo a trip to church this morning, opting instead to watch my grandmother's church service live.  Wow.  What a good decision that was!  God's providence seemed to direct that message at me and my family.

It seemed that every sentence out of the pastor's mouth was meant for my ears.

He talked about the wall.  Often times we hit a wall on our journey through life.  Often, God places a wall in front of us to teach us to wait on Him.

We try desperately to find a way around the wall, a way over the wall, or under it.  When really, shouldn't we wait for God to take us THROUGH the wall?

Waiting.  What a heavy word.  This is not a passive thing.  Waiting on the Lord requires us to take action.  Actively trusting in God and living each day in His presence.

Often, the world presses against us as we attempt to go through the wall with our Lord.  Evil seeks to push over our already teetering wall.

Psalm 62:3-4-How long will ye imagine mischief against a man? ye shall be slain all of you: as a bowing wall shall ye be, and as a tottering fence.  They only consult to cast him down from his excellency: they delight in lies: they bless with their mouth, but they curse inwardly.  Selah.

Despite all of this, there is good news! 

God is our strength and refuge.

God brings us through perilous times.  What have we to do?  Wait on the Lord and trust in Him.  This does not mean trust in God AND something or someone else, as the pastor made clear.  We are to trust ONLY in God.  Wait ONLY upon God. 

 

The Lord is the only One to bring us through the wall.  We may seek prayer and help from others, but we should not rely on anything or anyone other than our Savior.

Psalm 62:5-8-My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah."

Again, it seems that God was speaking directly to me.  As humans we will falter.  We will have doubts.  Our thoughts may sometimes be consumed with negativity.

"By now I thought I would have a job.  I've applied for so many."
"By now I thought I would be married, or be okay with being single."
"By now I thought my son would have turned back to the Lord."
"By now I thought my marriage would be better."
"By now I thought this would be over.  I thought my joy in the Lord would be restored by now."

The pastor listed all of these thoughts...all of which I see or experience with my family right now.  It is as if this entire message was meant for my entire family.

These thoughts are clear indications that we have hit a wall.  Yet, it is here at the wall where God is reminding us of His presence.  How?  By bringing us through it, and teaching us to wait and trust in Him.

The Devil seeks to make us doubt.  Evil seeks to make us think that God is not enough.  Trying to get us to turn to our own strength and devices.  Thus, we are faced with a decision.  

Trust God alone?  Or trust something else?

It is a comfort to know that "God ordains the means as well as the end."  He ordains the way to bring us through this wall we are facing.  He will never give us a temptation we cannot endure.  He always provides a way of escape.

1 Corinthians 10:13-There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Another chord struck.  "Do not be ashamed of the brokenness in your life."

My hope is found in the Lord.

Psalm 62:5-7-My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.

Amazing.  There was yet another moment that caused my jaw to drop.  I have been listening to "In Christ Alone" for weeks.  Almost daily.  In fact, I even posted lyrics from the song in my January 13 blog post.  The pastor quoted this song in his message this morning!

Another affirmation from God that He is with me.  With us. 

He is my strength.

"In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me.
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
here in the power of Christ I'll stand."

as the hours run away

Well, this was a long week, to say the least.

After this week, I feel that I have passed a few hurdles that will hopefully not present themselves again, and that makes me happy.

Some thoughts...

Do you ever end up on the receiving end of worrisome news?  Several times in a day?

It seems that people are going through so much and February just started today.  We are only one month through this year.  Is this year to be harder than the last?

Strength.  Lord, give us strength to face what comes.

I was talking with a friend last night.  His family is in a troublesome period of their lives.  There is nothing to do but pray for them, but it is difficult to be there for people who are shouldering such burdens.

My family is struggling and must move from the house they currently live in.  One month to pack and move.

Can I do anything for either of these situations?  No.  All that I can do is pray and support them.

I know on this side of heaven I will never understand God's dealings on earth.  I am, however, reassured that God is with us.

John 15:18-20-If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.
If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

Romans 8:31-What shall we then say to these things?  If God be for us, who can be against us?

Though we face trials and pain on earth, Jesus endured it before us.  He will never give us more than we are able to bear.

1 Corinthians 10:13-There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

That verse speaks especially to me, as I felt before that I would not be able to win the battles I was facing. 

Those battles are now behind me, and though it was difficult and I faltered, God brought me through with minimal wounds.

So will God bring my family and friends through these trials.  God uses fire to mold us into something more beautiful.  Fire to bring us closer to Him.  His refining fire.

Job 23:10-But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

1 Peter 1:3-7-Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you,
Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:
That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

I've been waiting...

Church this Sunday was a blessing.  Sometimes I wake up on Sunday mornings tired, and feel like skipping church altogether.  Every time I beat that feeling and go anyway?  I am always happy I did.

God always speaks to my heart in clear ways when a small battle such as tired eyes or busyness is won.

This Sunday?

Hosea.

Hosea 3:1-5-Then said the Lord unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the Lord toward the children of Israel, who look to other gods, and love flagons of wine. 
So I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley: 
And I said unto her, Thou shalt abide for me many days; thou shalt not play the harlot, and thou shalt not be for another man: so will I also be for thee.
For the children of Israel shall abide many days without a king, and without a prince, and without a sacrifice, and without an image, and without an ephod, and without teraphim:
Afterward shall the children of Israel return, and seek the Lord their God, and David their king; and shall fear the Lord and his goodness in the latter days.

Why might I post something about a harlot?

Well this scene is actually a beautiful picture of us... and God.

Hosea's wife was a harlot, who left Hosea and their children.  She left them and got into much trouble and lived a life of darkness and sin.

God commanded Hosea to go buy his wife back when she was being sold as a slave.  At this point she had gotten into financial difficulties and was being sold for much less than what a "normal" slave was sold.  Usually slaves were sold for 30 pieces of silver, yet Hosea purchased his wife for fifteen pieces of silver and some barley.

He then said to his wife: "Thou shalt abide for me many days; thou shalt not play the harlot, and thou shalt not be for another man: so will I also be for thee."

This picture of redemption and love on the part of Hosea depicts the love and mercy that God shows toward us. 

We are like the harlot-sinful, wicked, hearts of deceit and violence. 

Yet God?  God is rich and full of mercy and love.  He is ready to draw us back into His loving arms whenever we fall away.  What must we do?  Let Him draw us.

"O Christian, are you sighing under your burdens? Is God not your Father? Go and boldly lay your case before him.

His heart will certainly roll and yearn towards you.

Is it spiritual blessings you want? Spread your requests before him; as he is your Father so he is the God of all grace, and will give you of his fullness; for God loves that his children should be like him."-Voices from the Past

His heart will certainly roll and yearn towards you.

What a beautiful statement.

He is waiting.  Why am I so content to stand afar off, caught up in the crowds on earth?  I should be so heavenly minded that all I can think about is Christ, and going to be with Him in paradise.

That is certainly on His mind.  He is waiting for me, picking me up every time I fall.  How can I not follow after such a One?

"I've been waiting to dance with you
In fields full of colors you've never seen.
I've been waiting to show you beauty
You never dreamed that's always been in you.
I've been waiting to see you tremble as you're embraced
By a world saturated with My love.
I've been waiting for the day when at last I get to say
'My child, you are finally home.'

Sing, O son of Zion,
Shout, O child of mine,
Rejoice with all your heart and soul and mind,
For you are finally home.

I've been waiting to watch you realize
What all your longing was for.
I've been waiting to show you the thread of grace
That ran through all your pain.
I've been waiting to let you drink the water of which
Your greatest joy on earth was just a taste.
I've been waiting for the day when at last I get to say
'My child, you are finally home.'

Sing, O son of Zion,
Shout, O child of mine,
Rejoice with all your heart and soul and mind.
Sing, O daughter of Zion,
Cry out, O child of Mine,
Dance with all the strength that you can find,
For you are finally home.

Every tear you cried dried in the palm of My hand,
Every lonely hour was by My side.
Every loved one lost, every river crossed,
Every moment, every hour was pointing to this day.
I've been longing for this day."

-The Martyr's Song, written by Ted Dekker

how do you escape the noise?

Sometimes on cold, tired days I sit and think.

Sometimes life seems a great drama of "What-if's" and wishes.  While we waste away our time pining after dreams of fortune, love and happiness, the world goes on and lives slip away.

The things we care so much about.

Friendships, arguments, food, weather, careers, school.

Why do we care so much?  Better--why do we care about those earthly things, when all that really matters is eternity?

Are we really so blind to our mortality that we are comfortable wishing for false security and happiness on earth?  Our emotions and mind force us into delusions of owning these things on earth, when in reality we are simply pilgrims. 

"This world is not my home, I'm just a-passing through.  My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue.  The angels beckon me to heaven's open door, and I can't feel at home in this world any more."

Sometimes I wonder why I get so engrossed in the busyness of life.  Take school, for instance.  Quite right--doing my best is important, but it should not be most important. 

Friendships?  Surely it is good to have uplifting and godly friends.  But to spend every moment planning for the next event and social gathering?  What a waste.

What I wish for at this moment is an escape.  Instead of consuming myself with the petty dealings of strangers on earth, I should be living every day for my King.  Christ is the only One to which I owe my full allegiance.  I wish to escape this maddening world.  To escape from the encasing of drama, relationships, news, jobs, school and noise.

Yes, I must love my family and friends and strive to help them in this pilgrimage as often as I can, but my relationship with God is of utmost importance.  Through that relationship with God, He will strengthen the relationships I have with my family and close friends.

Where can I escape to, when every direction I turn presents temptations and distractions?  Must I seclude myself completely to spend a moment of solitude with my Savior?  How might I eliminate the noise of the world?

How do you escape?

long day?

Ever have a day where you come home completely exhausted and don't want to do anything?  Better...a day that makes you want to sleep through the next 3 days?

I'm there.

I had the opportunity to follow through with another strengthening moment in my life this week.  Another temptation/challenge that had been plaguing me for some time. 

God had been using the Holy Spirit to make me uncomfortable and unhappy whenever I thought of the lingering situation, and He gently pushed me to make a firm decision, despite how hard it seemed at the time.

Instead of prolonging a situation, or continuing in sin for so long before giving it up, why can't I just submit and say "YES, LORD," immediately? 

Because I am a sinner.

Jeremiah 17:9-10-The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?  I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

Sometimes I feel weak and tired.  I lack motivation.

Sometimes I just need strength.

My spirit feels so relieved when a sin is removed.  How is it that I fall so easily into sin in the first place?

Lord, please give me Your strength!

strength

This week. 

It has taken me so long to get back to this.  I find that blogging always makes me feel a little bit better.  It renews my spirits.

This week was filled with school, work, teaching, and sickness.  All physical "battles."  It was also filled with spiritual battles.  I feel as if I am sitting beside the frontlines of a battle, watching God fight for me. 

God has asked me to hold up my arms to Him.  As long as I do so, He can provide the victory.  As soon as I let go of Christ, however, I will plunge back into darkness and sin.

Exodus 17:9-12-And Moses said unto Joshua, Choose us out men, and go out, fight with Amalek: tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the rod of God in mine hand. 
So Joshua did as Moses had said to him, and fought with Amalek: and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. 
And it came to pass, when Moses held up his hand, that Israel prevailed: and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. 
But Moses' hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.

Just as Moses held up his hands to the Lord and was given victory, so shall I be given victory over my flesh and sin if I hold my hands up to the Lord.

I have been struggling with finalizing my word of the year.  Why?  Fear.

I keep fearing that I will choose the "wrong" word.  That I will choose something that God did not intend for me to focus on. 

However, God made it pretty obvious to me what my word should be.

"Voices from the Past" and "Morning and Evening-Daily Readings by C.H. Spurgeon" both meshed so perfectly on January 14th, that I knew it was God leading me to my word.

Strength.

Ephesians 6:10-Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

"The strength of every saint lies in the Lord of hosts.  God can overcome His enemies without our hands, but we cannot so much as defend ourselves without His arm...

To be strong in the power of the Lord's might implies two acts of faith.

First, a settled firm persuasion that the Lord is almighty in power; and second, it implies a further act of faith that God is engaged for their defence to bear them up in the midst of all their trials and temptations.

This is the apostle's purpose; to beat us off from leaning on our own strength, and to encourage the Christian to make use of God's almighty power as freely as if it were his own whenever assaulted by Satan."-Voices from the Past

Psalm 46:1-God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

James 4:7-Submit yourselves therefore to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

This does not mean that I will never have trouble...in fact, it indicates that I WILL face troubles and temptations. 

What matters is how I prepare and react to those temptations.

God will make His strength known in my weaknesses.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10-And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Christ also promises that He is mighty to save.

"Christ's might doth not lie in making a believer and then leaving him to shift for himself; but He who begins the good work carries it on;

He who imparts the first germ of life in the dead soul, prolongs the divine existence, and strengthens it until it bursts asunder every bond of sin, and the soul leaps from earth, perfected in glory.

Does your own case trouble you?  Fear not, for His strength is sufficient for you.  Whether to begin with others, or to carry on the work in you, Jesus is 'mighty to save'; the best proof of which lies in the fact that He has saved you."-Morning and Evening

Philippians 1:6-Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

Strength.

What does this word mean for my life?

•  I am weak.  At the first opportunity to "get away with" something sinful, I will choose wrong.
• God's strength is made perfect in my weakness.
• Instead of relying on my own strength to flee temptation, God is waiting for me to rely on HIS strength.
• God knows that my strength will fail me.  His strength will provide victory over my flesh and victory over my sins.

His strength.

This also means that I must continually ask Him for strength.  Strength for what?

Strength to say no.
Strength to flee sin.  Strength to flee temptation.

Strength to follow after Christ.

The strength to reject all worldly thought and cling to the iridescent truth that God loves me and will fight for me.

Exodus 14:14-The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

Deuteronomy 20:4-For the Lord your God is he that goeth with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.

This year, I believe that God wants to show me His strength and His victory.  In order for that to happen, I must remove my sense of pride and reliance on my own strength.  I must lay all at the foot of the cross and ask Christ to carry me to victory.  I will surely face many foes and many temptations.  Therefore, I must rely on God's strength and He alone shall be my staying power.

Strength.

Strength in Christ.

"On every hand the foe we find
Drawn up in dread array.
Let tents of ease be left behind,
And onward to the fray.

Salvation's helmet on each head,
With truth all girt about,
The earth shall tremble 'neath our tread,
And echo with our shout.

Faith is the victory,
Faith is the victory,
O, glorious victory that overcomes the world!"

the shadow does not hold sway yet...

It amazes me how quickly the Enemy attacks. 

The very NEXT day after arriving back at school, a temptation is placed in front of me.

Not just placed.  A huge pit appeared right before me.

Begging me to fall back into the sins I struggled with last semester.

It also amazes me how quickly God counters the Enemy's attacks. 

He provided:

• An evening filled with godly friends
• Texts from a godly friend
  - "You doing ok?  Praying for you :)"
• No way to fall comfortably back into the pit
• Physical and emotional warnings against the attack

Today?  More temptations.  More invitations to be a part of the world's version of "fun."  The Enemy wastes no time attacking me.  Is this what my entire semester will be like?
I must admit, it tires me just to think of how much strength will be needed for fifteen + weeks of this.

God knows that I am weak and He brought a wonderful quote to my mind.

"The shadow does not hold sway yet.  Not over you... not over me."-Arwen, in the Fellowship of the Ring.

Even from a Lord of the Rings movie, God used something to speak to my heart. 

This may be difficult to push through, but each victory will make me a little bit stronger.  In Christ alone will I find my hope and strength.


In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

-In Christ Alone

worrying empties today of its strength

Today will be a quick update, simply because I sort of feel like I need to put some thoughts down.

I left home to go back to the East coast for school.  School starts Monday.

I am stressed.

Why?

1. I will begin teaching first thing Monday morning.  I am not ready.
2. I have a book report (as a grad student?) due next week that isn't finished yet.
3. I have many books to buy before Monday and Tuesday's classes...some for the classes that I teach.  I didn't have the money to buy them until my loan came through.  Today.
4. I know that I will be faced with multiple challenges and temptations this week, and I need strength to overcome them.

The only way to get through this list and the many other things I have to do? 

Stop saying "I" and start saying "Him."

That entire list began with "I."

Matthew 11:28-30-Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

He will give me rest.

"In the arms of Your mercy I find rest."-Casting Crowns, "East to West."

Matthew 6:34-Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

I can also take comfort in the fact that when I fail Him, He forgives me, and removes my sins. 

As far as the east is from the west.

 

Psalm 103:11-12-For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.  As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

Following is a lyric video to a great song by Casting Crowns.  I don't listen to much contemporary Christian music aside from MercyMe, but there are a few Casting Crowns songs that I like, and this is one of them.  It has wonderful lyrics.

 

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its troubles/sorrow, it empties today of its strength.-Corrie Ten Boom 

confessions and battles

I must tell you--this blog has become somewhat therapeutic for me. 

I find myself thinking about it throughout the day, dreaming about fun scenarios or interesting thoughts that might make good blog posts.

 

I think today might be somewhat of a confession, but also an opportunity for me to vent some excitement.
 
My Confession:
 
Remember--the purpose of my blog is to provide a glimpse into my stumblings.  My stumblings to what? 
 
To the crossing.
 
The crossing of my path with my future husband's path.  We will meet someday at a crossing, in God's timing.  Until then, I want to further my walk with the Lord, so that I will be ready when that day comes. 
 
I want to be prepared.

Proverbs 21:31-The horse is prepared against the day of battle: but safety is of the Lord.

Not that my future marriage will be a battle, of course, but life most certainly brings battles.  I love that verse. 
 

 

A horse is prepared for battle, which means that I can certainly be prepared for what this life brings.  However, it should be centered in the Lord and His Word, because safety is of the Lord.
 
So, my confession.  I start class next week.  The last semester of my master's degree.  With this will bring some challenges for me.  Last semester I really fell away from God.  I made friends with people who are not uplifting or godly.  "Friends" that influenced me to choose wrong, and "friends" that fed my lusts of the flesh, eyes, and pride of life.
 
What will I do when I go back to school next week?  Fall back into those relationships and stumble even further from the cross? 

I pray that God gives me the strength to say no. 

My flesh desires the fun of the moment.  I selfishly worry about losing my "friends" if I choose to follow Christ.  But, what kind of life would that be if I gave up my relationship with God for a season of sin?

Hebrews 11:24-25-By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter; Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season;

No, I want to start this semester strong in Christ, able to say no to the temptations that will plague me. 

Hold me accountable, yes?

My Excitement:

One word for the year.

This is new to me.  My Sunday school teacher talked about choosing our one word.  Then, I stumbled across a blog where someone had linked to a website with a One Word Challenge. 

My heart patters along. 

One word to focus on for an entire year.  One word that God reveals to you.  The only way to let God reveal it to you?  By unearthing the mysteries of His Word layer by layer until He whispers it to you.

 

The beauty of this idea makes me desperate to find my one word.  I love words, and I love the idea of spending a year working on something that God chose for you.

One word to challenge you, uplift you, remind you, and change you.

I am waiting for my word.  As soon as God tells me my word, I will race over to my computer and tell you. 

Hold me accountable, yes?



Today I am linking to:

this isn't how it's supposed to be

Do you ever feel like God wrote a Sunday School lesson specifically for you?

I almost skipped church this morning because I wasn't feeling well, but then I would have missed a Sunday School lesson that targeted the exact struggles I have been dealing with lately.

Ecclesiastes seems to be a pretty depressing book in the Bible at first glance, but it is filled with nuggets of truth about life. 

We studied the end of chapter 11 and the start of chapter 12 today.

Ecclesiastes 12:1-Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them;

The rest of chapter 12 discusses old age and the deterioration of life and the body.  Essentially, the point of the sermon was focused on what we can do when we are young.

Remember God in the days of your youth.

Before the days of evil come.

When you make important decisions, remember God, for the seeds you plant when you are young will become the foundation and roots of your life in your 30s, 40s, and so on.  The ideals you entertain when you are young will become your worldview when you are older.

Wow.  What am I filling my life with now? 

Am I entertaining my lusts?

1 John 2:16-17-For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever.

Or am I dwelling on Christ, and the things of God?

Philippians 4:8-Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

While I am active and able, I need to remember my Creator, because when I am older I will not have as many opportunities to do so.  Deal with sin now.  Don't wait until it takes root with age.

Psalm 90:12-So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

A long post, I know...but it seemed like God was being very specific today.

With God's help, my focus needs to move from the goals of keeping as many friends as possible and finding my husband now, to taking the moments I have now and turning my attention to God. 

How can I show my love for God now, instead of being selfish and impatient?

One of my favorite Hymns to inspire.  "How Deep the Father's Love for Us."

How deep the Father's love for me,
how vast beyond all measure
that He should give His only Son
to make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss.
The Father turns His face away
as wounds which mar the Chosen One
bring many sons to glory.

How can I be so selfish as to focus on my own happiness instead of God?

can you imagine life without love?

Some thoughts...

My parents were married at the ages of 26 and 20.  I am 22 years old right now.  Occasionally I worry that I've somehow missed something important and that God might want me to be a nun for the rest of my life.  (Surely life without men is less stressful...right!?) 

Do any of you feel like that sometimes?

Thankfully my fears are pointless because God says that it is not good that man should be alone.  That is why woman was created...to be a help meet for man.

Genesis 2:18-And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Another passage to ease those fears can be found in Ecclesiastes.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12-Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

I think that passage is a great depiction of the strength of a marriage and the strength of a family.

A lesson to learn from this? 

Relax.  Be patient.  Wait on the Lord. 

I spoke with some sweet people today from my grandmother's church...fellow musicians.  While talking about something totally unrelated to my blog, one of these friends told me that we often forget to wait. 

Time and a lack of patience should not push us into decisions...hasty decisions can lead to mistakes.  Hasty decisions can cause us to stumble.

Psalm 27:14-Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

First Blog Post!

My fellow adventurers,

I think it is about time that I post my first blog considering I set up this brand new blog yesterday, on New Year's Day!  I spent the day with my mother and grandmother, and we each began new journeys in blogland.  My grandmother started a new blog to highlight the journey she is on with Shingles and God's ever-present grace, and my mother decided to rennovate her blog that she started years ago.

What will this blog be about, you may ask?  Let me give you a little bit of background about myself, and it will help explain my idea.

I often look for satisfaction in my relationships with people rather than in God.  I am a social butterfly that spreads her wings a little too much sometimes, earning friends who aren't always godly influences. 

Same with men.  I get attached and emotionally involved quickly, which just leads to heartache.  I am 22 so I am entering the prime marriage stage.  I, of course, am on the look out for Mr. Right.  However, we've all heard older married couples say that "As soon as I stopped looking for my spouse, he/she came into my life!" 

From that, as well as a conversation with my dad, this blog was born. 

My dad-the rock in my life-once told me that life should be a ladder...a journey.  If my focus is living a godly life for Christ, I will be climbing a ladder to Him and my husband will be climbing a ladder to God as well.  Somewhere along the way our ladders will meet at a crossing. 

A crossing of two ladders.  Two paths.  Two lives.

I stumble a lot when I walk an easy path.  Climbing a ladder will surely bring more battles.  In fact, if I am totally honest with myself, I would have to say that I am currently faltering right now in my walk with Christ.  I am at a crossroads now...follow Christ or follow the world.

This blog is meant to capture my journey to the crossing.  As I embark on my climb up the ladder I want to remember the struggles and successes, the failures and victories.  When I reach that point in the climb where I meet Mr. Right, I want to be where God desires me to be...close by His side, despite my stumbles on the way to the crossing.