willingly breaking His heart

Another day that just begs for lyrics from songs.

Ever feel like you just don't have the strength to do what is right?

As many obstacles and temptations are placed before you, you fail to pass them.  Or you barely scrape by them only because of God's grace and mercy.


Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in,
Onto the crashing waves.
To step out of my comfort zone,
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is.
And He's holding out his hand.
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me,
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed.
The waves they keep on telling me,
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
'You'll never win.'

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant,
With just a Sling and a stone.
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors,
Shaking in their armor,
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand.

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me,
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed.
The giant keeps on telling me,
Time and time again 'Boy, you'll never win!'
'You'll never win.'

But the voice of Truth tells me a different story.
And the voice of Truth says 'Do not be afraid!'
And the voice of Truth says 'This is for My glory.'
Out of all the voices calling out to me,
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth

--Voice of Truth, by Casting Crowns

How is it, that despite my horrible flaws and failures, that God still loves me? 

Even more, how is it that I knowingly...WILLINGLY break my Savior's heart?  Even those temptations that I see coming in the distance, I tell myself that I should not fall, but inside I know that I will.  Willingly.

Why is that? 

Why am I so entirely weak?

 

I used to think I was so strong.  When I was younger I was invincible.  The things of the world and the things of God were not so black and white to me.  Everything was grey, and I didn't care what I said or did. 

As I have grown and now understand consequences, God's mercy and grace, my sin, and life, it shocks me how weak I am.

Who am I, that despite all of these flaws, God still holds me in His arms and calls me His?


Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart?

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love,
And watch me rise again?
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me?

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.
And You've told me who I am,
I am Yours, I am Yours.

Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours.

--Who Am I, by Casting Crowns